Title: Reality
Author: augrah
Fandom: Marple: Ordeal by Innocence
Rating: PG
Dedication: For eurotaz who wanted Leo/Gwenda and feelings. :)
Disclaimer: Do not own. Blah blah

Sorry this was so late. Love you, hun!

x-posted to denis_lawson


~o~

Before I lived in a room; now I live in a home.

Books, paper, pens, scratching, escaping, changing, changing. Changing into this, into a reflection I recognize when it stares back at me instead of some phantom image. And gone now is the shrill cry, the one who I no longer know. She started as the love of my live. She became a stranger. A stranger, then a captor, a warden over my forgotten ideals.

I was not as sad as I know I should have been when she died.

Before I hid away; now I break free.

Rooms, rooms. I never knew my home had so many rooms. And sunshine and family and laughter and dancing and music and wine and games and love and wonder and companionship. You taught me that. You, Gwenda, my love. You showed me that the things I wrote about, the things I craved surrounded me all this time. I just never had to eyes to see.

It was you my love, my darling, my wife. It was all you.

Before I lived in a dream; now I live in reality.

A reality of love instead of scorn, warmth instead of shadows. These things are real. I am real. For the first time in forever, I am a real man, a man and a father and a husband and everything good and warm and loving and perfect.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

And I am so so so so so so sorry sorry sorry sorry I doubted.

Gwenda, my love, my darling. Forgive me?

I don’t think I can live now that you are dead.

~o~

FIN

ACK! It was depressing. I didn’t want to go depressing but, as is plain to see, my mind just goes that way. Still love you, Tara!!